My mind is like a loto machine with ping pong balls bouncing inside. Oh the things I need and want to do! how to start and how to stay on task has always eluded me. I am sure this is a common theme for many a creative person add motherhood into the mix and my ping pongs balls are really just a flying!
I am just going to write what is in my head so this is just a little exercise in free writing something I do now and then to try and focus.
Things I want and/or need to do. The things that cause guilt in my worried bouncy brain.
I need to clean this house I mean really clean with nothing but seasonal stuff in boxes! This task is so overwhelming that it makes my heart race. It would be more than lovely to have an organized home with places for everything and my art on display. I want the tables in our house to be clean and the dressers and the floor and everything! I want a good looking home that is a pleasure to have guest in. I has struggled with this my whole life. If I could change one thing about it it would be this I would be an organized neat person. It is the place that I most lack.
I want to finish my baby quilt, quilted purses, mosaic table, Ruthies mosaic cat and the sculptcher of Magic. Other projects I need to finish hanging the wall jewelry box, I got months and months ago and getting my jewelery off the dresser: also finish putting my silver charms in a shadow box and hang that on display also. It would be so nice to get all the wedding pictures in an album. I want to take photots of all my work and make a art book out of it. I would love to have a studio space again in which to do my thing. I am scattered here and there, but I know that is not the reason I am not completing my projects of stating new ones it is not the space but the mind that is causing my woes.
I want to get myself to the gym to swim laps and zumba, what is keeping me away! I want to make freeze ahead meals so that I can always have things on hand to make for dinner. For the last three years I have wanted to take riding lessons to brush up on my riding skills. How will I work this out. I would like to trail ride again. I want to find activities that my husband and I can do together, and then I want to do them.
I want to better use my God given talents.
I want to practice what I preach and be an example of togetherness for my son. I want to write things down in his baby book and actually print out some pictures. I don't want to be a scatterebrain where he is concered!
I WANT to stop dwelling all of this . I need to dewll on the light in my life for it is wonderus everything else will work it's way out I just have to make one ping pong ball of thought make its way into the hopper and work on that.
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I feel EVERYTHING that you do in this blog, and I feel it all the time. In fact there are times that I cannot sleep because of all the things that I have left undone in my life. I feel you and you are not alone in this. It comes from creativity, guilt, motherhood, empathy, and desire. Desire to be all things to all people, then we leave ourselves out of that list. So today I have been inspired and I have gotten a lot accomplished. I really want to be laying on the couch watching a lifetime movie, but instead I am working my way down my list of things to do!
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